Homemade softening hair conditioner

This year’s birthday post is a little gift to your hair. Several weeks ago I shared my story of washing my hair with rye flour and promised to follow up by telling you about my two favourite conditioners. Well, here is the first.

Before I begin, I must apologise that I have no nice pictures to add to this post. I will try to add some tomorrow, but I really wanted to get this posted for you tonight, while it is still Spotless’s birthday! SO!

When I first started getting into all things Spotless, the only solutions I could find for conditioning hair were based on using some kind of oil, especially coconut oil, as a conditioner. Now this is fine in principle, and coconut oil is undoubtedly a very fabulous thing for for hair, BUT…the thing is that my hair can be on the oily side and I never felt that I could get rid of the greasiness, even if I used oil before washing.

And then I discovered coconut milk.

Coconut milk seems to have a very similar effect to coconut oil, but is MUCH less oily. It softens, adds silkiness and shine, and protects hair, but without the heaviness of coconut oil. Even coconut milk can be a bit on the oily side for me, so I still use this conditioner before I wash my hair as opposed to after, and certainly not every time I wash my hair. Only once a month or so.

Did I mention that coconut milk softens hair? So, so much.

You can use coconut milk just as is, but I have found this recipe creates a lighter mixture that is more like the conditioners we are used to and doesn’t weigh down hair. It is easier to apply and to rinse or wash out, and it includes other conditioning ingredients. It does require a little preparation and some actual cooking, but it really only takes a few minutes.

You will need:

  • 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar, or plain vinegar infused with rosemary
  • 1/2 – 3/4 cup of coconut milk (depending on your hair type – 1/2 cup for normal to oilier hair and 3/4 for for drier or more damaged hair)
  • 1/2 cup of spring water (or filtered, boiled tap water)
  • 1 and a half tablespoons of oatmeal (a.k.a. oat flour)
  • 1 and a half tablespoons of cornstarch
  • optional: 4 drops essential oils (I suggest rosemary and / or lavender  for dark hair and chamomile and / or lemongrass for light hair)


  • Mix all the ingredients except the vinegar and essential oils in a small saucepan.
  • Stir the mixture over a medium heat until it thickens. This will take around five minutes.
  • Allow to cool.
  • Stir in the vinegar and essential oils, if using.
  • Transfer the mixture to a container of your choice.
  • Use as you would ordinary conditioner (I prefer to use mine before I wash my hair.)

This mixture won’t last indefinitely, even if stored in the fridge. You might want to halve the quantities, especially if there is only one head of hair that will be using it in your household.



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